


Mania in Space or The Psychopsycadellic journey of the Old Soldier and the Young Freeman

by Augustyn_The_Whyte



Category: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Fuck arounds, Gen, Hallucinations, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychotropic Drugs, Race, References to Depression, Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:34:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23179297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Augustyn_The_Whyte/pseuds/Augustyn_The_Whyte
Summary: This is likely to be removed because it's basically a bastardization of George Lucas' and Dave Filoni's beloved characters, juxtaposed with a less than idealized version of somewhat real life people and events (one is myself).Nonetheless, this is a Star Wars story, set after the battle of jakku. I cannot call it Star Wars however, because I want to something erratic, and totally remove the war from this portion of the story (and to call this work just plain ol ‘Star’ would make no sense). What I’m trying to paint for you all is a picture of the galaxy not at war, a galaxy where the empire is defeated, and now those who have loved their whole lives fighting a war have to face their hardest challenge yet: absence of war. This is my Tolkien vs Martin moment, when say, “Yes, the Empire fell and was defeated, but how do our heroes fill their time with no war to fight? What demons do they face? Is the war really gone, or now must they wage war inside themselves, and on the injustices of the galaxy that aren’t clearly defined with an insignia?”
Relationships: People with PTSD and drugs
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Trip Begins and the Galaxy Beware

"We were somewhere outside of Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold...." 

No no, that's not right. For one, the nearest desert was light-years away, festering with sluts, slavery, and worst of all Sand People. In all reality we were smack in the MidRim, nearing Shili in fact. I didn't plan on pulling out of hyperspace, but my consort next to me informed me he had to deficate, and Force be damned if I wanted the fecal matter of a mass-produced mutant clogging my ship's drains. Lord knows they could've engineered that trait right out of him, but those pencil-necked bastards from Camino pulled a real quick one on the Jedi back in the Clone War. Imagine having to find a place for 200,000 units to shit, with a million more well on the way.

The second issue with my opening thought, was that it was copyright infringement. Surely, even this far removed from the bosom of my mother Earth, some vicious attorney in a nice Acapulco shirt was planning for his posse of legal savvy sharks to jet through hyperspace and come down on my ass with all the Force of a Rancor in heat. I pushed these barbaric implications out of mind and tried to clear my head before entering Shili's atmosphere. It's before entering the cloud canopy of this tropical rock I remember leaning over to the retiree Clone captain next to me and saying:

"You go find a nice bush pal, I'll use the ships guns to cover your ass from the locals. After this you're driving, I feel light-headed."

"Er...what?" The sleepy eyed old man stammered. "Man just drop this thing on it's ass already, I gotta go you kriffing clanker".

I shuddered. If there'd been a droid on board we would've been in big fucking trouble, throwing slurs around and such. No doubt the computer in General Solo's ship would give us a good talking to about marginalization, systematic discrimination, and non-synthetic rights. Picture that, a ship lecturing a former Republic Clone captain and a former slave. I chuckled at this notion, but my joy was short lived. All around us suddenly was a thunderous howling, yowling, and screeching as we descended further to Shili's surface. What looked like gigantic big, black, bats were swarming all around us, threatening to tear our ship to shreds. I remember a voice shouting:

"HOLY FUCKING JESUS! WHAT ARE THESE GODDAMN ANIMALS!?!?"

But all Rex could say in response was, "I don't see anything man, but we gotta land slow and cool. The Togruta won't like it if we drop ship in their yard and I drop shit next breath. Bad manners in these parts you see". He knowingly said. 

Now I wasn't much accustomed to the civil rules of Togrutan life, but I knew enough of their uncivil mannerisms from the fields, then later the blood pits. I savored the idea of crapping on the hands that had held the whip, but interplanetary policy dictated this was unlawful. Fulcrum knew well enough to cover her people's collective asses when the New Republic officially outlawed slavery of the Terran variety, with no reparations in sight. Nonetheless we landed in a nice field on the outskirts of a nearby village so I dropped the ramp and let Rex clamber out to vacate his bowels. No point mentioning those bats I thought, poor bastard would see them soon enough.   
  


As Rex clambered out of the co-pilot’s seat and down the lowering gangway, I turned and manned the ship’s weapons systems as promised, though I wasn’t sure how the natives would take it. He dashed for a bush not far from the ship, and finding comfort in the cover of underbrush he began to relieve himself. It was at this time that my half of the Sunshine Acid I’d eaten seeped into my bloodstream, and slithered up my brainstem. About this time I noticed the bushes themselves were moving, slouching toward my incontinent companion who was preoccupied. I watched as they menacingly made their way to him.

”Oh no ya don’t you sly slut”, I sputtered, and took aim down the sights of the ship’s turret. The nearest bush to Rex was roughly 30 earth feet off, and I expertly blasted it, but it exploded into a ball of multicolored flame. The biblical implication of what would happen if this bush turned around and began to speak to me crossed my mind only briefly, but a scream confirmed I had killed my target. Sitting back, satisfied at my work, my contentment imploded on itself when I realised the awful black bats from before were circling overhead, closing in on Rex’s leafy water closet. The biggest and ugliest of these brutes broke from the group, and from the evil gleam in his eyes I could see he was up to no good. He pitched, and then dove down like a circa WW2 Japanese bomber, uncircumcised and heading straight for my companion’s bare backside. Caught with his pants down, it would my job to rescue Rex from would be sodomy. I took careful aim and fired upon the freak, screaming:

”Take that you salacious winged beast! Go violate your own kind”! I fired till I was certain the bastard was dead, but alas his comrades were none too pleased. They followed the maneuver of the former, and I was uncertain I could save Rex from their intended orgy. Nonetheless, I would try my best. I unloaded the ship’s torrents into the flock of furry demons, determined to cover Rex till he could get his pants up.   
  


“Get fucked you RAPEY AVIAN RODENTS!” I cried with all my might as I filled Shili’s skies with blaster shot.

It was at this point I was psychotic, verging on religious. I saw Rex break from the underbrush, fastening his belt as he fled to the ship, to safety. Thank God, I thought, I wasn’t sure how long I could hold these freaks off. However, in my bloodlust, I hadn’t been aware of footsteps behind me, and I shrieked in horror, reflexively tightening my rectum and squeezing my cheeks together as a pair of supple orange hand slid around my chest pulling me from the weapons controls.


	2. Chapter 2

I shrieked, and whirled around on my assailant. I remember thinking, “Oh no, not my bum you bat bastard!”, and with that I decided to turn the tables. I dropped my level and ran my shoulder hard into the creep’s solar plexus, while clasping his knees together to lift him off his feet. With him stuck in my grasp I charged hard down the ramp toward daylight, and once I felt my foot hit the soil I flared his legs out and dropped him on his ass. I didn’t stop there, but instead jammed my forearm under his jaw to keep him pinned down so I could finish the little bugger off. From behind me I heard footsteps and my companion shouting:

” Ya got him pilgrim! Ya nailed him clean!”, as he stood to admire my handiwork.

That’s typical Rex I thought, never running from a fight sober, always running toward them intoxicated. I’d figured that out at too many dive bars, strip clubs, and coworkers’ weddings the hard way. It was at that thought I looked down and new information came to light. Firstly, this was not a bat, not by a long shot. To my surprise it was a Togruta, and upon further ocular inspection of its anatomy, appeared to be female. She appeared to be a year or two my junior (myself being 23) and none too happy with her current situation. I resolved to let her up slowly, but kept a vice grip on her shoulder so she couldn’t draw a weapon on us. While I tried to maintain as firm and stoic an countenance as possible, internally I was sure we were fucked. Wouldn’t be long before a herd montrals, blasters, and other awful weaponry would come stampeding to her aid.

The woman then spoke, low and slow, with that trademark Togruta growl behind every word.

”If you two nerfherders are planning on kidnapping me, you’ve got a record to beat. Slavers tried to grab me 3 weeks ago and they didn’t last 3 hours.”, she threatened. 

“No doubt”, I replied sternly, “they were probably annoyed to death.”

”Get _kriffed_ wise ass!”, she snarled, and when she did her tongue shot out and snapped at me like a snake. I bellowed, and stumbled back on my ass, made coward by the LSD monster now altering the world around me. Rex must’ve seen it too, or at least he was being a good sport, because he lost his shit too, though to this day he doesn’t explain what exactly it was he saw. Just know that two grown men, trying to look hard ass in front of some local girl, got whipped senseless by an acid trip. Nonetheless, when I gathered myself, one of the things I gathered was that I was now staring down the barrel of a gun er, well, a blaster. It was a real beaut. Relby’s latest Saturday Night special deal, a rifle in round but made compact with a snubbed nose, a real pit bull. In the supple hands of the Togruta woman, it was a hand canon, but the comfortably familiar way she gripped it proved this wasn’t her first rodeo.

”Don’t you freaks move!”, she hissed, “I will blast you!”

But acid isn’t exactly a drug you can help your movements on. Not because it makes you lose control of what you do move, like ether, but because acid makes you lose control of what you _see._ So, when I saw a swarm of orange and orange-red, flecked with the occasional purple, all topped in what were to me a recent freeman the horns of the Evil One flocking down the countryside and making its way toward our little sideshow , I was beside my self and unable to follow the woman’s simple command. She seemed to note this too, and seeing her countrymen’s stampede, shockingly spoke my mind give or take,

_“KRIFF,_ thanks to you nerfs they found me!”, she wailed, now training her weapon on the crowd before us. The sheer volume of the massed togruta locals was impressive. I took this time to steady Rex, and remind the both of us of our positions in the new republic. At the very least, I thought, they would give us the nice prison cells, maybe even lets us be cell mates, and watch holothrillers until Fulcrum showed up to personally strangle us for defiling the sacred name of the New Republic on her homeworld. But these thoughts were squashed, when an older and authoritative looking togruta stepped forward.

He adjusted his robes and cleared his throat, “ Gentlemen, thank you for kindly apprehending this young lady. She’s been on quite the rampage, stealing ships and running off to Force knows where. We’ll take it from here”, he politely stated.

The young woman was not inclined to be imprisoned, and she looked ready to unload her weapon on him. Before things got brutal, I decided to act. I shot my hand out and snagged the blaster, jamming my finger behind the trigger so she couldn’t discharge it. I swept my foot to the back of her knee gently but firmly and watched her fall flat on her ass, just as I did moments before, her blaster still in my hand. She growled angrily at her twist of fate, and I could easily sense she was about to try something beyond stupid to get out of this. Despite a faulty introduction, I realized there was an easy way that everyone could get what they want. She could get out of here, the locals could be rid of her, and Rex and me would be on our way. So, I snatched the cuffs from the Togruta elder, and slapped them on her quick, using my natural size and strength to gently keep her down. She turned to glare at me but I only winked, smirked, and gave her my best “follow my lead here” look. Her expression turned quizzical, but she seemed to play along. I turned to Rex and nodded toward the official. He too gave me a confused look, but played along.   
  


“Certainly sir!”, chimed Rex, in his best military voice. “As officers of the New Republic, we’re always happy to help out local government. Now, you say she’s out here stealing ships is it? Are we talking personal vessels or cargo vessels?”

”Oh she’s been stealing both kinds officer”, piped up a disgruntled looking Togruta woman behind the village elder, who likely had had one of her vehicles nabbed by our new charge. I took this time to get things moving, seeing as we were pressed for time to get to Cantonica and I didn’t want to test the High Command’s patience any more than I already had this week.

”Sir, what my superior is implying”, I stated matter-of-factory to the elder, “is that by stealing cargo vessels AND personal ones, this young vagabond is now under jurisdiction of New Republic law enforcement. We’ll take her into custody, where she’ll be interrogated, tortured, and likely executed”.

This illicited a gasp from the crowd, and the elder stuttered, “ T-t-torture? Execution!?”

”Oh yes!”, Rex interjected,” We have to find out what she might know. For all any of us know, she could have Imperial connections. It’s imperative we make sure we know all the facts before we prosecute.”

”Absolutely”, I said backing him up, “ you never know who could still be an ally of the Empire. We’lol torture her for anything and everything she knows. Then, to be safe, we’ll torture her extra hard to see what she DOESN’T know. Just for good measure.”

Rex rolled his eyes slightly and the young woman held a look on her face like she couldn’t decide whether to be freaked out or mildly amused. I began ushering her toward the ship, leaving Rex to do damage control for me while I tried to forge some kind of alliance with the woman.


End file.
